Leaving the Past Behind

Letting go of the most loved causes the most excruciating pain and heartache.  Sometimes it seems the harder I try to hold on to something or someone the more gravity intensifies the reach.  The empty space between us increases beyond measure. I feel like some kind of criminal for feeling or wanting…wanting to be desired and loved.  Confused because I think these feelings are wrong and demeaningly bruising the inner heartbeat I chose to share.  Feeling defeated yet holding the love inside, knowing the full effect is not reciprocated.  No explanation as to why the emptiness doesn’t subside.   Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? These are simply my thoughts and with grace I accept them with open arms, knowing an over-pouring of love overshadows the darkness.

_Journal Entry from the Fall of 2012